“You are part of my existence, part of myself. You have been in every line I have ever read, since I first came here, the rough common boy whose poor heart you wounded even then. You have been in every prospect I have ever seen since – on the river, on the sails of the ships, on the marshes, in the clouds, in the light, in the darkness, in the wind, in the woods, in the sea, in the streets. You have been the embodiment of every graceful fancy that my mind has ever become acquainted with. The stones of which the strongest London buildings are made, are not more real, or more impossible to displace with your hands, than your presence and influence have been to me, there and everywhere, and will be. Estella, to the last hour of my life, you cannot choose but remain part of my character, part of the little good in me, part of the evil.”
Great Expectations, Charles Dickens
Some people see themselves married with a family. Some people picture themselves sitting on the beach by themselves completely content with their lives. I used to think I had it all figured out. But after seeing and experiencing some things firsthand, I’ve come to realize that I’ve idealized a lot of things. Everything has been turned on its side and I don’t see life the same way anymore. It’s always been more complicated than I ever anticipated. The only thing I am sure of is that I want to make sure I wind up with certain people at my side. You know who you are. Life without you guys would be empty and pointless. Let’s grow old together, ok? Well at the very least we should try.
Taken with instagram
every since i left manila, i’ve felt like i put my life on hold. i did this by choice. there were many many moments in the past months when i regretted my decision to take a year off. but now that it’s almost up i can’t help but feel like i’ve made the best decision of my life.
for the first time since the start of senior year, i feel excited about something. there’s this burning sensation at the pit of my stomach. i am hungry, really hungry to do something with my life. i want to study. i want to push myself. i want. i want. i want.
this desire is something that has been lacking since i got everything that i set myself to in college. if anything, the past year has given me perspective. and i am so excited.
i can hardly wait to get my life back on track.